so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I got inside last night via doggy door
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
