how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
