so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize