16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
