Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
