The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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