i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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