Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
