I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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