hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Hippo gnu deer
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
