You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
