you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
