She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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