That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
