Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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