my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
