ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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