he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
