would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
