He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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