i don't plan on having that self control this summer
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
