Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
