oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
