just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
