she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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