SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
