Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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