apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
