Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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