I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
