what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
