farters have to be the big spoon...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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