The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
