So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
