This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
