I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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