his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
