he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
