She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
