we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How external is "for external use only"?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
