I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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