i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
