that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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