Im at strip club and am horny
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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