That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
