Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You need Xanax blowdarts
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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