Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
