Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I queefed so loud it echoed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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