what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
honey bunches of taint.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
