The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
