bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize
